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T O P I C R E V I E WsthenriDo you ever find yourself unattracted to someone who pays too much attention to you? And attracted to someone who ignores you? What if someone did this to you, would you find it justified?Is this a subconcious way of getting space, or wanting to be close, this sudden attraction, or unattraction, or does Venus in Aries find itself suddenly changed?Has anyone done this to you and how did you feel about it?Is this insensitivity, or greed, or nature?I put myself into positions where I am near someone I am attracted to, but subconciously, I am totally unaware of how I am bending my life towards that person. When I find out, I am angry and try and break it off for a while. I feel I must be detached, to be happy, but then I find myself bending again, it's not concious. I will find myself in the same neighbourhood, or eating a favourite food of this other person, and I don't like it.Often I am not even attracted to this person for long, but I can't him out of my mind anyway, which makes me wonder, what am I feeling if it's not love and it's not attraction, yet it's so strong.NatashaTaurusastro junkieEverything you just mentioned is of little consequence. Much-ado about nothing. Petty.Think back to a sweetie in your life, how you one day realize you've taken them for granted, and then how utterly grateful you are to see them smile again the next time you see them.Aquarian GirlNatasha, I know exactly what you mean.I think my personality is so full on, that if I act the way I really am straight away, most people either dislike me, or think I'm a fruitloop, or think they can take advantage of my niceness... or just want to rain on my parade for some reason, I don't know. It's bothered me a lot. I've noticed if I adopt this aloof persona... still friendly... but just... I dunno... I guess I just turn the volume DOWN a bit on the vibe I give out... people respond much better.I don't know if that's exactly the same thing you are talking about, but for me... that's how I've noticed people relate to me better. If I play a bit hard to get. If I'm too nice or too open, I get into trouble. Of course with people I know well, I just be myself I don't know if you remember that thread I started about karma and the problem I was having with a lifelong "friend"... but now that she and her sister are completely out of my life, I've notice the toxic energy circulating also seems to have disappeared. I think I was friends with them to learn a lot of things... and they ALWAYS played these demented games just like you talk about. Maybe I'll post about it later, it's too long. But with some people, this behaviour is toxic, and all about ego gratification. ghanima81Aquarian Girl,Yup, yup, yup! That stuff happens to me all the time, some people are put off by my outgoing and somewhat strong personality at times. Usually the people who are put off by it are people who don't have the same amount of energy, the same 'oomph'' if you will. Or people who are too shy or afraid to be themselves in public. When I tone it down a bit, and spend more time one on one with them, that all seems to go away... but it's not the funnest thing to act differently just to get on with people better... (although I do it quite often, just for the waters to run smoothly, ya know?)As far as being attracted/unattracted to those who ignore me, sometimes.... I guess it is a bit of an ego thing (leo moon 5th house), but I do find myself gravitating towards these people, almost like ''hey!! I'm actually pretty cool, give me a chance!'' It is a bit of a negative thing to waste positive energy on those who don't seem to gel with me, but man, an aqua sun just won't give it a rest when it comes to including everyone in their atmosphere.I have actually ended up in relationships with people who 'ignored' me, a Gemini I worked with once seemed to think I was just a nutter, so I really ended up unconsciously trying really hard to get to know him, and to let him get to know me. He was a hard nut to crack, but it was the only thing that really held the relationship together, the challenge, the chase... Once I 'had' him, I was pretty bored and it didn't last very long. It was a learning experience, if nothing else; I learned that there needs to be a mutual give and take in all personal relationships, a respect for each as an individual, no reason to bother trying to make everyone like me... it's just not gonna happen. I still do get a bit bothered when people don't 'like' me, but I am coming to a higher understanding that it's not worth it to cry over, obviously some people just aren't meant to be in each others lives too deeply.Love and light,GhanisthenriBoth of you hit the nail on the head, making people like you, is not important, but we do it anyway? why is it so important to get along? . I can see the 5th house influence in me, and the Cancer moon wants to be liked too. I will go to great lengths to make sure everyone, community, police, insurance guy, everyone I meet and come into contact with, LIKE me, it's so strange.I am so dependent on that for work, I think it spills over into life. And I do have Uranus trine Sun, possibly I treat the world like friends. I do get hurt if I"m too open. I do open people up, but communication can hurt me easily, that is hearing the wrong thing. So maybe I prefer the silent type for that reason and woo him. With someone quiet I always ASSUME the waters run deep, or that there is an emotion. Silly I know.Thanks,Natasha(PS Gloria I do try hard to work at not ignoring certain people, but especially my ex the LIbra can be overwhelming. Right now for example, he has emailed me three times so far today. I care, but he communicates in a strange way for me. I ought to call the Virgo more but he's always stressed out on the phone..)hereisgoneI'm in the middle. I don't like it when people cling to me, but I don't like being ignored either.keyI have always liked you, Natasha.KeyMama MiaI am pretty much the same way hate to feel that I am being ignored, but hate to be clung too also. My guy is an Aquarius and if you know the Aqua man then you know if you want to get to him ignore him almost to the point where it feels like torture you can have him eating out your hands. The funny thng is I can never ignore him that hard so occasionally I just have him lick my fingers... LOL!!!! sthenriThanks Key, do I ignore you?What's going on in your life now? How's your family? Natashamoonbabyf*ck, you guys...i was only just thinking bout this today. its like when I first met my friends, i was just coming out of the introspective period of my life...so I was still quiet, listened hard and never really spoke about my feelings....but they absolutely loved this. its like I was afforded all these attributes that I would never consider myself having....i was cool, calm, collected...and i got mad respect...but since then all I do is communicate and im so open about my feelings, i say anything that comes to mind, stuff poeple think but dont actually say ....so now im compared to phoebe...from friends it really pi**es me off, cos I think its superficial. its just like sthenris saying..you assume the person has a lot to say and is deep just cos they are quiet. but im guilty of this cos I love people with mystery who are all quiet and i figure its all about intrigue...especially if you are a lady, its highly attractive to all. but it depends on what you want out of friendships. cos if you want to be respected or exalted (maybe too strong a word), then being mysterious is the way to go...but if all that doesnt matter to you and you just wanna connect with people, then whatever goesastro junkieRegarding wanting someone mysterious and/or deep - the ego will do some crazy acrobatics to justify.Natasha -I had that issue too, not too too long ago. And this is after, how many years of Oprah? And I'm a grown up girl, know a little about feminism. Why do I still have this issue??? I'm a goud darn modern woman DAMMIT !!Well - it bothered me so much, I brought it up during an expensive counseling session. I just clear nearly kicked down the office door to announce, "I want everyone to like me!!"Funny how one of those dudes love to love your money, when they take 90 seconds to just wag their head back and forth in complete silence and awe.sthenriYes it can be liberating to finally put your finger on it, and therapists do have to make a living,I am still trying to get to that Point, I tend to be mysterious, so that when I am connecting, it's too much for the other person. At least that's how I see things right now. My 8th house moon is mysterious so that's just a part of me.Connecting with others, my Cancer moon loves to do that. I go back and forth, sometimes needing mystery, but it's not mystery it's like music. There is a difference. Quiet, accepting love, is very Cancer. Oh well, I can't explain this, everyone else is doing a good job though.TAke Care KnowflakesNatashaastro junkieTrue, but not ALL therapists SHOULD be making a living.sthenriThat's why some are nicknamedThe Rapist,Natashamoonbabyi feel ignored most of the time...its just so weird to me...cos when i was all quiet and stuff i got much more attentionmaybe its an aura thing, cos i have a libra friend who gets attention no matter what...but then shes always quiet and really soft sspokenor maybe its the law of attract and repel...like when you really want something, you tend to push it away from youbut then with my libra friend, i know for fact that she wants attention and for people to call her first and all these things, it never shows on her face but she tells me it...everything she does is very controlledand she gets it...i really dont understand the world sometimes/...i really try and be a person who doesnt play games and is honest both inside and out but it just sucks cos you have a much easier life when you play....no controversy, just going with the madding crowdi give up, i really do... astro junkieActually, I prefer to meditate and focus upon the law of "repel/attract" in the opposite way. The more you repel, the more you attract.moonbabywhat do you mean aj?astro junkieI'm loaded for bear.astro junkie quote:astro junkieModerator Posts: 5751From: Registered: Nov 2003 posted November 25, 2004 06:28 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Actually, I prefer to meditate and focus uponthe law of "repel/attract" in the opposite way. The more you repel, the more you attract.IP: Logged moonbabyKnowflake Posts: 175From: ukRegistered: Oct 2004 posted November 25, 2004 06:45 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------what do you mean aj?IP: Logged astro junkieModerator Posts: 5751From: Registered: Nov 2003 posted November 25, 2004 06:48 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I'm loaded for bear.moonshineI agree with that - the more you repel, the more you attract. Its so true! I do my best to blend in the background but I always get chatted up by guys I dont like and do not want to attract. One guy even wrote me a love letter - i met him for a couple of drinks/dates but he was so full on and clingy I stopped calling him - completely. Hate to be harsh but full-on/clingyness turns me cold! Anyway, he kept calling me even more and it annoyed hell out of me. Feel bad - it must have crushed his Cancer sun a bit, but i cant help it. Of course all the guys I really like never like me back. Sod's sodding law... astro junkie*wink*Aquarian GirlI guess it is just a law of polarity then, eh? quote:I have actually ended up in relationships with people who 'ignored' meYou know Ghani, it's weird, but some of my most important friendships/relationships... we strongly repelled at first, and then came together later. The funny thing, I've only put all this stuff together lately, I've spent years trying figure out why people are so weird around me. Honestly, I think it was some sort of planetary transit... cause all of a sudden the mood has changed within me and outside of me and I'm not quite sure why. Natasha, you say it's 5th house thing? I have a 5th house Sun and Mars conjunct. I think it's the Mars energy projecting strongly on my personality. I come on too forcefully... in every expression.I swear, only lately have I truly been able to reconcile in my mind and mean it, really truly mean it... that not everyone has to like me, and it's OK if they don't. Who cares? I did. I was in severe denial about it too. But I really did care. Ooooh yes Moonshine... nothing makes me head for the hills worse than clingy, whiny, needy people... in friendships or relationships. I don't like sycophantic people either. They give me the creeps. Yes, yes... attract, repel. Opposites attract. Like and like don't match. pixelpixieYes.. and I have found... the people I thought were nothing like me.. absolute opposites.. as I got to know them, and got to be attracted in more ways, I found more similarities than those whom I was attracted to right away, and thought we shared much in common.Much like the Ascendant mask.. what is opposite is really quite similar. (with a more thoughtful glance)Winged_FeetI see opposites as 2 sides to the same coin.With the liking people who ignore me...guilty. I think its the wanting what we can't have thing. I guess more of a challenge, and something to work towards.
Is this a subconcious way of getting space, or wanting to be close, this sudden attraction, or unattraction, or does Venus in Aries find itself suddenly changed?
Has anyone done this to you and how did you feel about it?Is this insensitivity, or greed, or nature?
I put myself into positions where I am near someone I am attracted to, but subconciously, I am totally unaware of how I am bending my life towards that person. When I find out, I am angry and try and break it off for a while. I feel I must be detached, to be happy, but then I find myself bending again, it's not concious. I will find myself in the same neighbourhood, or eating a favourite food of this other person, and I don't like it.
Often I am not even attracted to this person for long, but I can't him out of my mind anyway, which makes me wonder, what am I feeling if it's not love and it's not attraction, yet it's so strong.
NatashaTaurus
Think back to a sweetie in your life, how you one day realize you've taken them for granted, and then how utterly grateful you are to see them smile again the next time you see them.
I think my personality is so full on, that if I act the way I really am straight away, most people either dislike me, or think I'm a fruitloop, or think they can take advantage of my niceness... or just want to rain on my parade for some reason, I don't know. It's bothered me a lot.
I've noticed if I adopt this aloof persona... still friendly... but just... I dunno... I guess I just turn the volume DOWN a bit on the vibe I give out... people respond much better.
I don't know if that's exactly the same thing you are talking about, but for me... that's how I've noticed people relate to me better. If I play a bit hard to get. If I'm too nice or too open, I get into trouble.
Of course with people I know well, I just be myself
I don't know if you remember that thread I started about karma and the problem I was having with a lifelong "friend"... but now that she and her sister are completely out of my life, I've notice the toxic energy circulating also seems to have disappeared. I think I was friends with them to learn a lot of things... and they ALWAYS played these demented games just like you talk about. Maybe I'll post about it later, it's too long. But with some people, this behaviour is toxic, and all about ego gratification.
Yup, yup, yup! That stuff happens to me all the time, some people are put off by my outgoing and somewhat strong personality at times. Usually the people who are put off by it are people who don't have the same amount of energy, the same 'oomph'' if you will. Or people who are too shy or afraid to be themselves in public. When I tone it down a bit, and spend more time one on one with them, that all seems to go away... but it's not the funnest thing to act differently just to get on with people better... (although I do it quite often, just for the waters to run smoothly, ya know?)
As far as being attracted/unattracted to those who ignore me, sometimes.... I guess it is a bit of an ego thing (leo moon 5th house), but I do find myself gravitating towards these people, almost like ''hey!! I'm actually pretty cool, give me a chance!'' It is a bit of a negative thing to waste positive energy on those who don't seem to gel with me, but man, an aqua sun just won't give it a rest when it comes to including everyone in their atmosphere.
I have actually ended up in relationships with people who 'ignored' me, a Gemini I worked with once seemed to think I was just a nutter, so I really ended up unconsciously trying really hard to get to know him, and to let him get to know me. He was a hard nut to crack, but it was the only thing that really held the relationship together, the challenge, the chase... Once I 'had' him, I was pretty bored and it didn't last very long. It was a learning experience, if nothing else; I learned that there needs to be a mutual give and take in all personal relationships, a respect for each as an individual, no reason to bother trying to make everyone like me... it's just not gonna happen. I still do get a bit bothered when people don't 'like' me, but I am coming to a higher understanding that it's not worth it to cry over, obviously some people just aren't meant to be in each others lives too deeply.
Love and light,Ghani
I am so dependent on that for work, I think it spills over into life. And I do have Uranus trine Sun, possibly I treat the world like friends. I do get hurt if I"m too open. I do open people up, but communication can hurt me easily, that is hearing the wrong thing.
So maybe I prefer the silent type for that reason and woo him. With someone quiet I always ASSUME the waters run deep, or that there is an emotion. Silly I know.
Thanks,Natasha
(PS Gloria I do try hard to work at not ignoring certain people, but especially my ex the LIbra can be overwhelming. Right now for example, he has emailed me three times so far today. I care, but he communicates in a strange way for me. I ought to call the Virgo more but he's always stressed out on the phone..)
What's going on in your life now? How's your family?
Natasha
its like when I first met my friends, i was just coming out of the introspective period of my life...so I was still quiet, listened hard and never really spoke about my feelings....but they absolutely loved this. its like I was afforded all these attributes that I would never consider myself having....i was cool, calm, collected...and i got mad respect...but since then all I do is communicate and im so open about my feelings, i say anything that comes to mind, stuff poeple think but dont actually say ....so now im compared to phoebe...from friends
it really pi**es me off, cos I think its superficial. its just like sthenris saying..you assume the person has a lot to say and is deep just cos they are quiet. but im guilty of this cos I love people with mystery who are all quiet and
i figure its all about intrigue...especially if you are a lady, its highly attractive to all.
but it depends on what you want out of friendships. cos if you want to be respected or exalted (maybe too strong a word), then being mysterious is the way to go...but if all that doesnt matter to you and you just wanna connect with people, then whatever goes
Natasha -
I had that issue too, not too too long ago. And this is after, how many years of Oprah? And I'm a grown up girl, know a little about feminism. Why do I still have this issue??? I'm a goud darn modern woman DAMMIT !!
Well - it bothered me so much, I brought it up during an expensive counseling session. I just clear nearly kicked down the office door to announce, "I want everyone to like me!!"
Funny how one of those dudes love to love your money, when they take 90 seconds to just wag their head back and forth in complete silence and awe.
I am still trying to get to that Point, I tend to be mysterious, so that when I am connecting, it's too much for the other person. At least that's how I see things right now. My 8th house moon is mysterious so that's just a part of me.
Connecting with others, my Cancer moon loves to do that. I go back and forth, sometimes needing mystery, but it's not mystery it's like music. There is a difference. Quiet, accepting love, is very Cancer. Oh well, I can't explain this, everyone else is doing a good job though.
TAke Care KnowflakesNatasha
maybe its an aura thing, cos i have a libra friend who gets attention no matter what...but then shes always quiet and really soft sspoken
or maybe its the law of attract and repel...like when you really want something, you tend to push it away from you
but then with my libra friend, i know for fact that she wants attention and for people to call her first and all these things, it never shows on her face but she tells me it...everything she does is very controlled
and she gets it...
i really dont understand the world sometimes/...
i really try and be a person who doesnt play games and is honest both inside and out but it just sucks cos you have a much easier life when you play....no controversy, just going with the madding crowd
i give up, i really do...
The more you repel, the more you attract.
quote:astro junkieModerator Posts: 5751From: Registered: Nov 2003 posted November 25, 2004 06:28 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Actually, I prefer to meditate and focus uponthe law of "repel/attract" in the opposite way. The more you repel, the more you attract.IP: Logged moonbabyKnowflake Posts: 175From: ukRegistered: Oct 2004 posted November 25, 2004 06:45 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------what do you mean aj?IP: Logged astro junkieModerator Posts: 5751From: Registered: Nov 2003 posted November 25, 2004 06:48 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I'm loaded for bear.
IP: Logged moonbabyKnowflake Posts: 175From: ukRegistered: Oct 2004 posted November 25, 2004 06:45 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------what do you mean aj?IP: Logged astro junkieModerator Posts: 5751From: Registered: Nov 2003 posted November 25, 2004 06:48 PM --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I'm loaded for bear.
Of course all the guys I really like never like me back. Sod's sodding law...
quote:I have actually ended up in relationships with people who 'ignored' me
You know Ghani, it's weird, but some of my most important friendships/relationships... we strongly repelled at first, and then came together later.
The funny thing, I've only put all this stuff together lately, I've spent years trying figure out why people are so weird around me. Honestly, I think it was some sort of planetary transit... cause all of a sudden the mood has changed within me and outside of me and I'm not quite sure why.
Natasha, you say it's 5th house thing? I have a 5th house Sun and Mars conjunct. I think it's the Mars energy projecting strongly on my personality. I come on too forcefully... in every expression.
I swear, only lately have I truly been able to reconcile in my mind and mean it, really truly mean it... that not everyone has to like me, and it's OK if they don't. Who cares? I did. I was in severe denial about it too. But I really did care.
Ooooh yes Moonshine... nothing makes me head for the hills worse than clingy, whiny, needy people... in friendships or relationships. I don't like sycophantic people either. They give me the creeps.
Yes, yes... attract, repel. Opposites attract. Like and like don't match.
With the liking people who ignore me...guilty. I think its the wanting what we can't have thing. I guess more of a challenge, and something to work towards.
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